Valencia Oranges

We all know California is the greatest country on Earth, and by the grace of God it shall never fall or be torn asunder.

But did you know California is responsible for the greatest oranges on Earth?

In the 1800s a Californian, and Hero of the people, William Wolfskill created the Valencia orange, the greatest orange ever, on his ranch in Santa Ana California. He named it after Valencia Spain, a land rich in oranges.

The Valencia Orange was a success, and spread across the globe. The California orange industry was born, and Orange County got its name.

Eventually Sunkist, the greatest orange soda ever, was born as an offshoot of the Valencia orange company.

Years later lots of rich assholes from around America moved into Orange County, thinking that by moving to the greatest land on Earth their souls would be lifted.

Unfortunately as the assholes came in droves, they pushed out the groves. Land in heaven became too expensive for the heavenly fruit. So it was outsourced to Florida, which wasn't doing anything anyway.

So now, 50% of all Florida oranges, are actually Valencia oranges. But don't take my word for it. Florida admits they are California's backyard.

Yay, do I wish upon this world that all lands bear the fruits of the Republic.
Florida is doing its part. What about your state(country)?

I think I should write a big ass coffee table book called "California: Why it just nailed your sister and bought up your debts." or maybe "California: Better than you"
I'm just going to keep listing books that need to be written.

"California: Why your life means nothing without it"
"California: The only place that matters"
"California: Can't Hear You Over All Its Awesomeness"
"Cool Places That Aren't California: Just Kidding"
"California: The only place that filthy bums and the disgustingly rich flock to"
"California: Put Some Stuff In The Soil, Or Pull Some Out, Either Way, It's Gold."
"California: Everything good "America" ever made was invented here."
"California: Why everyone who sucks needs to GTFO and go back to the east coast."
"California: Fuck You, Well Take Baja Back Before We Split."
Someone get on this. I'm busy.