I know people believe this, and some of them are those jerks that have to cut into any lane that is moving. But to claim that all lanes move equally, or that there aren't slower lanes is simply wrong. Having driven up and down California in the the hearts of the worst traffic America has to offer I have gained a great personal understanding of how traffic flows.
The allusion that this idea is on par with "the grass is always greener on the other side." fails to acknowledge that grass is greener on someone's lawn. It's either yours or your neighbors, on average if you have two neighbors there's a 66.66% chance the grass is greener on the other side. With that in mind, I would like to list a few real-world conditions that might elicit this supposed false psychological condition.
Rubbernecking I hate you rubberneckers. Really I do. Combine rubberneckers, with most driver's moronic propensity to tailgate even on the highway, and you get a ripple effect. The ripple appears in the form of a slow-down. And if there are enough cars coming steadily, the slow-down will ripple on for hours long after whatever on the side of the road has left. What annoys me the most is that having a car simply pulled over to the side will cause a slow-down as every person has to look at the car.
How it slows down one lane more than another: Rubbernecking requires actually being able to see what's so interesting. I've found that if a slow-down occurs on the right, then the right lane(s) will slow more than the left lanes, and if an event occurs on the left, the right will less likely be affected. So you might find that you're just driving along, both lanes moving smoothly, then for no damn reason you have to slow down because the car in front of you is slowing down. The other lane(s) might just keep going, after a period of slower driving, sometimes for a few miles, you'll reach some magic point, and be able to speed up again.
How to avoid, solve this problem:
1. STOP RUBBERNECKING!!!
2. If you see a car off to the side of the road in the distance, get in the farthest lane from it.
3. Keep at least two car lengths from the car in front of you while you're at a good speed. If you see the car in front of you starting to slowly brake, don't brake, take your foot off the gas for as long as you safely can. This will create a buffer that will help to ease the slow-down. I have a theory that would require actual science or testing, but I believe if enough cars kept a decent buffer the occasional moron rubbernecker could be negated and a slow-down ripple could be eliminated.
4. While lurking about I found another blog with someone else's funny and rather detailed idea on how to break up a rubbernecking jam. Basically his idea is for a person to slow down even more than the rest of the group, forcing a large gap to form, then speeding up and getting out of the jam, hopefully setting the line of deceleration back far enough that people won't want to slow down to rubberneck. http://www.cockeyed.com/science/rubbernecking/rubbernecking.php
Highway Exits When you're on a highway that has critical exits and high traffic, you will hate this. Basically a lot of drivers want to get off the highway, perhaps in one of a series of important exits, and the traffic starts piling up. The best example of this is coming off the Bay Bridge going into San Francisco. San Francisco has an almost non-existent highway system. And all of downtown encompasses only a few quick exits. If you miss them, you're next exit is going to be literally across the street from Daly City.
How it slows down one lane more than another: All the downtown exits are on the right. Most people coming in to the city know this. So they preemptively get in the right lane. So as more people get into the right lane, the more it slows down. The more it slows down, the more people want to get into the right lane. The other lanes stay at a normal speed, and the right lane comes to a crawl. What's worse is those who want to come into the lane at the last second. They have to stop dead in their lane, causing cars to quickly stop and back up, and they require the already slow lane to come to a complete stop to let them in. If you're in right lane, and you don't have any plans of exiting any time soon, you are in hell, the only thing you're thinking about is getting out. The problem for you is, now you're going 5 miles per hour, and the lane next to you is doing 65. You have to risk life and limb flooring the vehicle to just change lanes.
How to avoid, solve this problem: The best thing you can do is time your entrance into the exit lane. Maybe 1 or 2 exits before your exit you should start trying to get in. This way you won't be that asshole blocking two lanes at your exit, nor will you spend 30 extra minutes sitting in the slow lane. I believe if most people followed this, then the exit lane wouldn't be as plugged up as it gets, but there's no social intelligence on the road except perhaps most red lights being followed and people usually driving in the right direction. You have to act on your own best interest.
Slow Drivers Whether it's a big rig, or an old lady, slow drivers have created an entire subculture in the long empty roads of this country. They serve to ensure every poor bastard who's ever driven on a highway has been forced to slow to some arbitrary speed like 59 in a 65 making each person question their choices in life as some asshole 50 feet in front of them has managed to take hours of their life.
How it slows down one lane more than another: Big rigs tend to stay in the slow lane. They are professionals, they don't hope to ruin your day, but if you let them they will. Slow drivers tend to be bad drivers. One has to be fairly oblivious as a human to drive too slow on the highway, and thus more often than not, you will find these morons sticking to the fast lane. I can tell you on a number of occasions I've had to stay in the slow lane going 80 passing up a row of them doing 50 in the fast lane. The concurrence of douchebag slow driver in the fast lane, big rig in the slow lane does occur regularly. Basically if you're on a highway with two or fewer lanes you will get screwed every so often, it isn't so much that they only effect one lane, but they only affect a small region of a highway. They create a pack of cars that is led and trailed by open road.
How to avoid, solve this problem: I mentioned that a subculture has spawned from slow drivers. It's really fascinating actually, because I've never heard anyone else talk about it, and I didn't realize it existed until I had driven a route across California nearly 500 miles about 5 or 6 times. In general when slow cars hover around big rigs, or you get that convoy of big rigs where they take turns passing each other, you end up with a pack of cars all going 54 miles an hour in the 65. The slow drivers don't care, they'll do this their entire life. The average driver doesn't enjoy this, but they'll wait it out. The speeder really hates this, he'll either be speeding up and then dropping back repeatedly, cutting people off trying to find the better lane, or just tailgating the hell out of people like that's going to convince the entire pack to speed up.
Then there are the lane changers. These are the true professionals. They don't get mad or complacent in a pack, they get good. The lane changer doesn't speed, they don't have to. The lane changer doesn't cut people off, nor will the lane changer willingly slow anyone down. The lane changer is the alpha driver on the highway. You must become one if you ever want to get out of these packs. To be a lane changer is very simple. Whenever you find yourself slowed down by a car, you get in another lane. If there's a car slowing you down there too, get in the next lane, repeat. If there are cars blocking all the lanes, look to the one that is going slightly faster, get behind that car and continue. Soon enough you'll be able to work your way through an entire pack of cars until you get in front of them. You will find it was just two assholes staying about the same slow speed, and everyone else unwilling to pass them up. While in the pack it may appear like the highway is just bumper to bumper full of traffic, as soon as you get out, you'll realize it's open for miles. Of course the longer you drive the more of these packs you'll run into. And that's how you'll realize you're part of a community of special drivers. As you work your way from pack to pack, you'll notice a few other cars are doing the same thing you are. You'll end up cutting about 1/6 off your drive or about 10 minutes per hour, this really adds up on long drives, it also helps you keep focused, as you have to actually think while driving where your next move in changing lanes is going to be. Another benefit is that you'll be spending most of the time in open roads, rather than being cramped in a pack of cars, subsequently you'll statistically less likely to be in a car accident.
Now it's important to make a fine point on the speeding. I find a hard speed limit to be a bullshit number. Whether it be 65 or 80. The DMV and the law is enough of a bureaucratic smartass system that they acknowledge road conditions determine actual safe speed. And while driving 50 in heavy fog and rain in the night is a stupid idea, the speed limit doesn't magically dictate the "safe" speed during sunny clear days with no one else around or any road hazards whatsoever. If you're in the middle of a valley with visual range 100 miles in every direction and there's no car for 10 miles around you and it's perfectly sunny and clear and the road is in great condition and you have a good safe car, you should be able to drive 250 miles per hour without the police giving you shit. Obviously that's not how it works out though. They're so logical when implementing max speeds during poor conditions, but when the conditions are good, all of a sudden we have to adhere to an inflexible number hammered out by lobbyists and politicians. Despite popular belief, if the speed limit says 65, then 66 is speeding. By that logic we're all criminals; almost every driver speeds every time they drive. I don't even know how no one has put a check on that. The number on the sign should not be the mathematical dividing line between "safe" and being pulled over and paying hundreds of dollars. If they want people going no higher than 65, the sign should say "Speed Range 55" and say you can manipulate your way up or down 10 mph based on conditions. But no, that would be A. assuming people have any self responsibility, and B. it would cut into ticket revenue, which is the real reason all vehicle and driving infractions exist at this point.
So when I say a lane changer doesn't speed, I'm not talking about the state's police version of speeding, I mean the lane changer isn't doing 90 around cars doing 60. It's not safe. Lane changers are decidedly safe. And that I want to hammer in. Because you probably never notice the Lane Changer proper, most people notice the shitty driver who has to do no less than 90 like their life is the movie Speed 3. Those psychos will kill someone, they speed too damn fast for the cars around them, they are forced to make rapid and dangerous lane changes simply to prevent from colliding with other vehicles, and they don't give a crap about cutting you off. I'm also not talking about those dipshit overly aggressive drivers who feel that if they aren't cutting in front of you, you're somehow wronging them, those are the people who will flip you off while nearly smashing into you getting in front of you. I've seen them when they get in front of everyone, they don't go any faster, they just wait for more cars to screw with. Those aren't lane changers, those are assholes, and I wish they would be sent to jail or fined their car for that.
When I first started changing lanes, when I'd get out of a pack I'd speed up to about 90 in the open road, and have to come back down to 60 when I'd reach the next group. After going through several packs, I noticed I wasn't shaking the other lane changers who were doing about 70 in the open road. There I realized speeding does very little for cutting down the hours. It does help somewhat, but as a practical matter there's no point risking the ticket when the guys not topping off 20 mph slower than me are sticking with me because by the time I reach 90 I have to slow down again for another pack. Of course I did drive fast as hell a couple times getting lucky with the traffic and managed to make a good 8 hour drive (with no traffic, no stops) become a 6 hour drive literally averaging 80 mph even after making a couple stops. I was about to beat the 6 hour on the return making about a 5 1/2 hour run (averaging 87 MPH over 480 miles) but a cop car came up beside me flashed its light, and the guy gestured for me to slow down, so I slowed to 65 the rest of the way and still did it in 6 hours. When I get up to this speed, it becomes increasingly harder to shave off hours. 8 to 6 is great, and I'm moving the average from 60mph to 80mph which is pushing it like a beast, but to go from 6 to 5 hours I'd have to jump up to average 96 mph which simply isn't happening. Even If I floored it across the entire state of California going 110 whenever I could, the traffic would force me back down to 60 or 55 every few miles and there's no way to make that up. So I have learned from thousands of miles of driving across thousands of miles of California through the biggest cities and the emptiest valleys that the most efficient long distance driving is to just ride that safe comfortable high speed limit, occasionally taking advantage of opportunities to go maybe 5 to 10 over, and popping out of every pack trying to get me to go 60 or less.
That's my wisdom for those who don't want to always be the guy in the slowest lane. One final point, if you're in a real traffic jam. Not like the false ones I've listed, but one like where the only highway to the Bay Area is literally backed up two valleys inland about 70 miles from the actual shorline, there's no trick. At least not one that I've seen. You can try lane changing, but you're never getting out of the pack. And ultimately if you keep lane changing in bumper to bumper, you're going to piss yourself and others off needlessly as you come to realize the futility of your efforts. The best thing to do is just take the opportunity to relax. Don't be that one crazy asshole who snaps and drives on the shoulder at about 80 trying to weave into traffic 100 cars per bound. Of course if you're late for something that won't forgive you, meh I can't deride you unless you're unsafe. The worst I had it was one time I had a job in San Francisco working a Fleet Foxes concert, I left extra early just so I might get a chance to enjoy the city for a little while, and lo a jam backed me up on the Bay Bridge for 40 minutes. 40 MINUTES ON THE BRIDGE! If you've ever crossed it you know it takes 5 minutes even in heavy traffic. And what would have been the worst traffic jam I've ever seen took place in San Diego after the Warped Tour. I was at the Coor's Amphitheater which is located in the middle of the desert, the parking area has ONE EXIT for thousands of cars. We left before the concert was over, in fact the biggest band of the night, the Dead Kennedys had just got on stage when we left. But even then with only ONE FREAKING EXIT FOR THE PARKING LOT OF THE BIGGEST THEATER AREA ANYWHERE NEAR SAN DIEGO it was a pure roadblock. Long story short my friend was driving, we waited nearly an hour just to be able to back out of our parking spot, no exaggeration, and then he just said fuck it, moved some traffic cones, and floored it, cut in front of a thousand cars by plowing through the center cone area and popped out in seconds. Sometimes you got to do what you got to do. But come on man, really? You're in the fucking desert, there's literally nothing else out there, the parking lot is surrounded by 4 roads, and there's only 1 god damn exit, which actually faces the road with all the loading/unloading traffic right in front of the amphitheater. They bring this on themselves. That's what you have to realize. Be safe, try not to get ticketed and fund their idiocy, but otherwise take every opportunity to get out of the pack. They might say the idea of thinking you're always in the slowest lane is a psychological fallacy, but that's because those sons of bitches are always in the slowest lane, and they have no clue there's a way out.
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