How I feel

Sliding on my ass at the bottom of a snowy hill, the fun is over, but the ride hasn't stopped. Waking up after 2 hours of sleep, and spending an entire day sitting around. Wasting an entire day playing video games that I've already beaten. Standing watch. Red streaks of silk flash by and a sword enters my stomach, but it is just a dream and I move on and never remember it. I was 4 years old and he hit me in the head with a pipe. I was 12 and I stood in a field, a boy told me she had a crush on me. I have stood on a cliff facing the wrong direction. Sunday morning. Every day of December. After 4 ejaculations, and 5 hours of sexual activity, all the while thinking. Watching a opossum die on the side of a road, only 5 minutes into a two hour bike ride. The rear bumper of my Grandmother's Ford. Greyhound station at anytime of the day except 9:45 pm. Stale Dorritos out of a freshly opened bag. The same t-shirt, 4 days in a row. Never at the beach. Never in the forest. Never on a mountain. Never by a river. Swenson Park, on a weekday. My Mesquite tree. Recess after 5th grade.



I want to apologize to someone I shouldn't forgive. I want to leave someone I should kiss. I sit on a pedastal I made them build, if I stand, I will be higher than them, but I am content. I am so out of sorts, this is truly the closest I can come to speaking about how I feel.

On the 7th Week, Josho Rested

My fan base consists of only two people, the girl I loved, and the boy she loves. How's that for a kick in the nuts? I just set the filter to friends only and neither of them will read this. The girl I loved can't read this anymore, because she is a slutty alcoholic piece of shit, and the Navy recognizes this. The boy she loves is obsessed with me because he is a fucking moron. Here is a song I wrote after having to spend 5 hours with Boozy McDrunk Bitch.



Sunshine and Sparkles



I fell in love, and she fell apart. She's passed out, and I've a broken heart.

My sister sells Meth, my brother's a drunk. My Dad did coke, and my Mom tried to kill me.

Demo, ii desu, daijabu. I have a woman I can do anything to.

My friends are in jail, I quit my job. I'm being blackmailed, and I've become a slob.

Demo, ii desu, daijabu. I have a woman I can do anything to.

6 weeks straight of drunken debauchery. The edge has curved. I have fallen, I have risen, I will come all over my Thai woman.

BeruBot is on TV, he demands I drink more Asahi.

Demo, ii desu, daijabu. I have a woman I can do anything to.

BeeruBot ga hoshi desu

I had almost the perfect day today. I had the 2-7, I got to regale legends of the sea with a man from Saipan. This was fun because he told me he was from Sacramento, then asked me about Saipan. After about 5 minutes of shit talking the dirty little island, he told me where he grew up. So I asked him what "Hafa adai" meant, he said it was "welcome", but I have been pronouncing it wrong. It is supposed to be pronounced like you are saying "Half a day". Then I was free, I gave Tony the Playboy Masion game book so he could get the music. Then I went with Sean to my place and watched Jack Bauer stomp everyone's shit. I left it off where he finally killed the woman who killed his wife. Then I went to Tokyo and made sweet love to my woman. We watched Blade Trinity and I started acting like a vampire, biting her and the such, I thought it was cute. After we were all done, we watched Japan stomp Korea's shit in baseball, just like Japan had rocked China's world a couple days ago. Thats when I saw it... The Asahi BeeruBot. He fucking whips out a cold one, breaks it open and pours a glass. I told Ai that I wanted the BeeruBot. She laughed and asked me why, I dont even drink beer, I told her I could substitute with Coke. I dont understand enough Nihongo to figure out how to get one from the commercial, so I asked Ai, How do I get a BeerBot? This paused her on two fronts, first she didnt know how the word "how" was being used, and second, I had to explain the concept of calling some plastic thing I saw on a commercial a BeeruBot. Yeah good times. I ate some pork and curry for dinner at the Shinagawa eki and I got back to Yoko about 9:30.