Whiskey in my life

I've heard Whiskey is currently experiencing a popularity boom unlike ever before. It probably has something to do with me coming to enjoy it.

I've always loved whiskey. Long before I ever drank any alcohol. Maybe because it originated in Ireland, I'm not sure. No one in my alcoholic family ever drank whiskey. It was always my default idea of alcohol.

I'm not going to go all wikipedia, or drink expert here, I just want to lay out my opinion on the matter.



The first whole glass of liquor I ever drank was some Jim Beam. I was 21 years old, it was about the end of 2003 and I was in Stockton on leave from the Navy. I had never been drunk before so I told my dad I wanted to see what it was like. He let me drink his Jim Beam, but it was only about a glass and it didn't actually get me drunk. I wouldn't have another sip of alcohol for 2 years.

I love the process of making whiskey. The charred oak barrel aging is actually where most of the flavor comes from, though whiskey is never distilled to pure alcohol, so it retains the flavor of its grain origin as well. Like pretty much everything else on earth, there are hundreds of ways to make it, and many variants. I would like to note one in particular, Bourbon, which I recently learned, is found in almost all major foreign bottles. Scotland, Ireland, Canada, etc? get their barrels from Kentucky (namely Jim Beam) and reuse the barrels, so most Irish, Scotch, and Canadian whiskeys have a certain percentage of Bourbon in them (and it isn't as little as you might think). Now how can you get snooty knowing that?

Coming in usually around 80 proof (40%) whiskey is mid range in the liquors, above the girly drinks, and below the mixers.


I'm going to list here most of the whiskeys I'm rather familiar with, with a snippet of opinion and rating.


Good Whiskey

Glenlivet I drank this for the first time a little over a week ago. Tony got me to go to a boring party in Ukiah, which was a 4 hour drive, I should do a blog about that. In fact, I will. It was the first single malt I've ever had, and it was very fine. It had a burn to it, so It's not as miraculous as I oddly assumed single malts were, in fact, tasting it, let me know single malt doesn't necessarily mean anything at all. I enjoyed it neat and that's about as good as it gets for me and whiskey.


Jameson This may be my second favorite whiskey, purely by its taste. Jameson sure doesn't have what Budweiser calls "drinkability" it has a harsh burn to it, but it does taste and smell very good. It also isn't anywhere near as syrupy as most whiskeys, which makes it easy going down. I like Jameson because it lets me get drunk very quickly. When I was in San Diego I did security for about 8 months. Work started at 5am, and I had no vehicle. So I would go to my ship the night before and sleep there. The thing about not having a car and being stationed on a ship on Coronado is you have to walk a lot. I have literally walked the entire length of Coronado many times. It's over a 20 minute walk to the ship just from the front gate of the base.

So each night before work, around 8-9pm, I would go to my freezer, pull out my bottle of Jameson, and drink straight from the bottle for awhile. Enough to guarantee I was drunk. Then I would begin the long bullshit process of getting to my rack. I had to walk to 5th avenue from my apartment, then I'd get in a cab, ride to the front gate of Coronado and walk to the ship. By the time I got to the ship, I'd be sober again. It took that fucking long. I'd usually be just buzzed enough to sleep soundly, which was important for having to get up at 4 am with 6 hours (max) sleep.




Jim Beam I already said this was my first drink. It was also the only time I ever had Jim Beam. My dad taught me how to drink whiskey correctly, and this alcohol didn't fail, if drunk right, very little burn, decent taste.








Knob Creek This is a premiem Bourbon by Jim Beam. It is 100 proof, so it is exceptionally more alcoholic than most other whiskeys. You can smell it in someone's glass, especially if they've mixed it with soda. I bought one bottle a few weeks ago thinking it would have a premium taste. with 50% alcohol, it is a little much for a sipping whiskey. It has a good flavor, but neat is less enjoyable than mixed with coke.


Mediocre Whiskey


Jack Daniels Oh I know I'm breaking the heart of every frat boy wannabe from the 90s until 2015 with this, but Jack is mediocre, and you know it. That's why you always put it in coke frat boy wannabe. Or you're just a tool. Either way, the stuff has a good flavor, but it actually tastes watered down. I can't explain that.




Johnny Walker Red This is the only Johnny Walker label I've had, so I can't say anything about the better ones. Red is their bottom of the barrel label, their "stuff got mixed in this and we're not sure what, but it's only been aging since you put your swim shorts away for the season so who cares" quality brand. It burns, it smells awful, and it tastes worse. It is possible to drink though. So it stays here in mediocre land.


Absolutely Vile (aka Canadian whiskey that comes in plastic jugs)


Canadian Mist It wasn't until I was long out of the Navy, long out of spending money. Long into retreat and no longer caring about anything but getting drunk, when I decided to purchase this liquor, based on price. Oh good lord. You can buy the shitiest vodka, and you're still somewhat safe for mixing, but this taught me a serious lesson. Whiskey can be offensively bad. This smells like vomit, it tastes like vomit. If you mix it with anything, it can lose alcoholic potency in dilution, but its stink, itsdisgusting flavor will never go away. Let it be a great testament that this shit sat unfinished in my poor kitchen for months before one particularly desparate day I chugged it and had to forcefully prevent myself from blowing it all back up.




Black Velvet After Canadian Mist, I swore to never buy cheap whiskey again. Give the story a few months and Danny comes over to eat drink and be merry. He brings as "gift" a mostly drunk bottle of Black Velvet. It is exactly as bad as Canadian Mist.









Great Whiskey


Chivas Regal This is my absolute favorite. Maybe it's just my subjective good memories of drinking this in foreign lands with my friend Sean (it was his favorite) but Chivas does have a lot going for it. It tastes great. I usually drink it room temperature, neat. I like to smell it first, just sticking my nose in the glass and swirl it around. It is so smooth and delicious, I pour some in my mouth and swish it around and smack it and taste and taste and oh jesus. It's seriously good. If you can't imagine a whiskey so smooth that you can drink it this way, you haven't had any good whiskey.

Josho vs. Rum

Perception. Your eyes lie to you. How's that for a begining? Rationality has to be founded on one's perception, but what we perceive isn't exactly right to begin with. It's the butterfly effect and the stampede is me at a picnic seeing Ian alone and quiet. It's seeing her. When I see her I don't see a person, I see issues. I see an unresolvable conflict. These perceptions. So Sean show me a nice way to enjoy rum with Sprite. I had about 4 glasses, then decided I wasn't nearly drunk enough. So I slammed the bottle, literaly I chiped a tooth doing it. I just kept drinking it. I drank it like water. I drank it empty. I hoped it would kill me. I still wasn't drunk enough because it hadn't hit me yet. I hoped I'd at least pass out. I grabbed a beer and drank that too. Then I played some Weezer and did the dishes. I went to bed around 9:30. At some point in the night I found myself opening the door to my other bedroom. I don't know why or how I was there. Sean asks me if I'm ok, I say I'm really drunk, he says "Yeah I saw wht you did to that bottle." I go back to bed, and notice two huge piles of vomit on my bed. I sleep until 5:30 a.m. and get up for duty. I'm still drunk, I tell Sean about it. I shave drunk, I clean up the vomit, mostly. I notice at some point in the night I had gone downstairs grabbed my iPod and took it back to my room and recharged it. Aparantly I'm a very productive drunk. I tell Sean not to go into my room, he says that the only time he'd ever been in there was the night before to make sure I wouldn't choke on my own vomit in my sleep. I tell him I don't care if he goes in my room, but it's mass casualty in there.

I drunk bike to the base. At the main gate I get paranoid, I stop ten feet from the gaurd and try to get my ID card out of my pocket. I look at him, and I'm sure he knows. He says, "You dropped your money." I loudly say;

"Yeah it's just a Yen." I reach down and pick it up. I think he knows now for sure, because I should have said 'one Yen' not 'a Yen' or maybe 'a Yenny' if I were hip. I go through and drunk bike to my boat. I see the gate gaurds and I'm sure they know, but we don't talk. I get to the ship and I'm sure the OOD knows, but he says nothing. I drunk iron my uniform, because I had remembered to bring it. Then I go to muster, and afterwards I sleep most of the day. I have a dream that two guys, Misty Stokes, and I are burglars (only two of you could possibly know who she is, to you I say, I haven't a clue why, I never dreamed about her before).

It was more than 15 hours before I started feeling sober again, more than 24 before I stopped feeling sick. The whole time I was drinking I was thinking about Sasebo, Kagoshima, Hong Kong, her. I thoroughly distorted my perception, just for a momentary release from this hold on my soul.

Heads up

In case you didn't notice, I am in the Navy. Not only that I am in the "Real Navy" which consists of never being in port for more than a month, and having more than 3/4 of each year spent at sea. The satellite Internet we receive is slow at times. On a ship we have few computers and I stand watch with a guy who insists on spending his entire watch trying to hook up with girls, even though he lives with his girlfriend. I am fairly important to my division, so all together I don't have a lot of time to write anything here. I assure you I have no intention of quitting on this blog. I like this blog, as my html skills slowly progress, and I can try them out, I can try out ideas, and communicate with all sorts of people. The internets nice like that, whereas I'm just as crazy in real life, most people act other than themselves (or lie as I call it) in the "real world". This is about where I would break off into a rant, but alas we are pulling into Hong Kong, and I have fucktons of maintenance and watchstanding to do, not to mention sweet sweet Dim Sum and the like to swell my gut, so until I think of something worth writing... read my old posts.

more like everyone else's blogs, as the posts go by

My ship is going to give us all Vaccina. Vaccina is the first vaccine ever made. It was developed by Louis Pasteur to be a vaccine for Small Pox. As you probably know, Small Pox no longer exists, except in two vials under the control of the U.S. government. And So, because the U.S. controls Small Pox, the Navy is afraid Terrorists will use it against us. I don't even want to get into how not possible or plausible or rational this scenario is. Small Pox isn't an airplane. Nobody gets to use it except "cleared" doctors who move it from one room to another. Even if Small Pox miracled it's way into terrorist hands, wouldn't they kill themselves first? Yes. Even if the "Terrorists" magically know how to handle a virus, that miracled it's way into their hands. Why would "they" use it? Releasing a virus hurts everyone. Flying planes into buildings, just pisses most people off. Sure some die, but Stalin killed more people, and Truman gave him a blowjob. My point is terrorists aren't trying to wipe out our species. Small Pox would kill billions. Anyway the real reason I'm pissed is, 1. I have to take this Cow Pox shot 2. It is guaranteed to make me sick 3. I "probably" won't die. Great. So I can rest assured knowing my violent vomiting, headaches, and blood and puss and weakness is only going to last a month. I'm glad they will give the whole ship the disease. So if we get attacked while underway (much more likely than getting Small Pox) we will all be so physically weak, the ship WILL SINK! I just don't want all the pain. The Navy thinks it should force me to endure pain now so I won't die at the same time as everyone else when the terrorists get their magic on the vials and use their magic to release it somewhere I'll be, even though I've been on one ship or another for over a year and the most dangerous place I HAVE EVER BEEN is Tijuana, and I was alone. We patrol peaceful waters surrounded by peaceful, quiet, sleepy nations, like Korea, China, and Russia. Sure things used to happen around here, but I can tell you everyone's asleep around here. Except the South Koreans, they are crazy paranoid, but that's another tale. So I who volunteered for the Navy MUST get sick. So I won't die later. My only value to the Navy is my ability to perform. If I VOLUNTARILY quit instead, they lose everything. I could just start acting like people around me, and not do anything, Objectivists would be proud of me. My point is, I am not the Navy's property. I may or may not get Small Pox. I will get Cow Pox, and get sick. I CAN just stop working and be worse than dead. My free will cannot be removed while my free movement remains. Fuck the Navy. Sure I sound like those bitches, who didn't want the Anthrax shot, but 1. Anthrax DOES kill people 2. What of it? The Navy will never "force" upon us random money to help us combat terrorism. I will never get to swallow any other pill except the one that makes me ill. This argument stems from the Navy's inherent socialistic structure. Except nowun ever scratches my back. I just work, get paid nothing, get money pulled out of my paycheck for "free" services, and work some more. I never get "benefits" I get no "Perks" I get only less than what I put in. I never get any "time off" just standard working hours. In three years I haven't missed one day of work, as far as these fucks are concerned I've been a very good Comrade. So all I want is to just not HAVE to puke for a month, to not HAVE to avoid contact with non virused people, to not HAVE to be careful to not touch the infected area so it doesn't spread. Oh well whatever, one more vaccine, or The Vaccine I should say. Vaccina, may you get me out of some late night watches! I'm a good comrade. The Navy knows this.